Does your mother dream?
Writing is 'dreaming awake', connecting with our inner worlds and sharing the images and narratives we find there. I talk about dreaming here because it's the seedbed of this free-range writing life.
I remember a really touching article called Mother daughter dreaming by Tzivia Gover, one of my favourite writers on dreams.
Tzivia describes how she discovered her mother had been a prolific dreamer, but it was too late to explore their shared interest because, by then, her mother had slipped into ‘her dream of dementia’ and lost the ability to communicate in speech.
It made me wonder whether my mother dreamed – or rather, remembered her dreams. I would think not. But what about my father? My sisters and brother? My grandparents?
It struck me how rarely most of us talk about our dream lives, even with those closest to us. I’m glad I’ve always had that conversation with my children, and these days, also, with my friends.
It’s fun, intriguing and sometimes reassuring to talk about the places we go and the experiences we have in our dreams. For me, it’s like talking about great movies we’ve seen, or wonderful novels, or little pieces of poetry we’ve chanced upon and felt inspired.
I think one of the reasons why it isn’t part of our culture to talk about our dreams is because psychology has hijacked dreaming and shaped our view of it into some kind of secret code that makes us vulnerable to being exposed.
For me, my dreaming is a rainbow of emotions, themes, images, characters and stories that show, not my deep unconscious analysable life, but the moving colours of my psyche.
Dreams don’t explain, they open to mystery; they make life bigger.
Next time you remember a dream, try sharing it. If you still have your mother in your life, perhaps you could share it with her or, if she has already left, you might invite her to visit you in dreams, as Tzivia has done.
If you would like to explore your dreams through writing, check out my ‘Writing in the House of Dreams’ course this Autumn.
Do you talk to friends and family about your dreams? If not, what would hold you back? If so, how does it make you feel?
Love this Jenny!
Having kept a dream journal for over a decade, my dreaming is a critical part of my way-finding through life. So many messages in symbol and metaphor if we choose to explore.